Take 1000 !

50 takes, reasonable. 

But a thousand takes?

Kind of a bit of a failure, don't you think?

Just like how I said I will be taking more pictures this year but it seems like I'm failing terribly at it. LOL.

I don't know if it comes with age or the fact that I don't really have much motivation.
Yeahh, shit happens and you won't feel like doing anything except for lazing around and shiz.
Or maybe I am just lazy LOL.
Because one thing's for sure. I ain't lazing around.
I'm actually up and about doing some stuff like reading journals.
THE JOY. Zzzz.

Talk about resolutions, I think I lost my whole list of resolutions :O
I can only remember some xD
Cursing less is obviously the most failed one of all.
The rest, well, at least I tried.
CrazyDay which is supposed to be a monthly outing where people go crazy and do all the shiz they want only worked out for ONE month.
People these days are so busy with their own stuff that arranging for outings itself is a pain.
Even friends are busy :O So busy to the point where they don't even strike up a conversation or ask how are you.
I guess real friends can only be identified when you're at your lowest points.
They're the ones who'd be there for you.
However, some will only get involved when you're at your lowest point not because they genuinely care.
Some just wanna know for the sake of knowing and for the sake of having something to talk about.
Now that's what you call a FAILED friend.
To be honest, I don't even know if the word "friend" can be used =/

More than often nowadays, people are coming up with excuses.
Some are just purely ridiculous.
If you don't have time or if you forgot, just fucking say it man.
I appreciate honesty rather than some lame ass excuses.
Take up an excuse class if your excuses are lame and unbelievable -_-

Maybe part of me changed a bit but heck, I didn't change entirely.
Just because I stopped living the way you want me to doesn't mean that I've completely changed into a different person.
Maybe you just never really knew me.
Or maybe I'm just tired of making the effort, ALL THE TIME.
I remember the calls I use to make & the text messages & the fb inbox messages.
They were left unattended.
And now, I'm just tired of making the effort.
It takes two to communicate, not one.
So to hell with you.
I ain't making no move no more.

Blog more later.
Ciaozers.

Hypocrisy Amusement

I find it amusing how people older than me can be so immature.

Not saying that I'm very mature and that I'm right in everything I say because obviously I am NOT God.

All I'm saying is, GROW UP. 

Be more responsible man. 

And I honestly don't care how much salt you consumed more than me. 

I only care about you modelling good behavior for younger generations to follow.

Is that too much to ask ?

Heck, PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH.

Don't come telling me that I should tell you things beforehand when you don't.

Common sense will tell you that I have my own plans. 

So don't expect me to comply with your plans when you don't give a shit about mine.

It's not that I don't want to help out. 

I would LOVE TO, trust me. 

Just that the last minute notices is a huge turn off. 

Also it is never really being appreciated. 

What do I get in return? 

MORE LECTURES AND THINGS TO DO. 

Excuse me but I thought you said my job was just to study hard? 

Now you want to flood me with stupid responsibilities like closing my siblings windows and yours?

Don't you have your own God-given hands to do it yourself ? 

Before going out I have to close EVERYONE'S window and push the clothes in. 

Not to mention that if I eat or drink, I have to wash it myself.

And when I'm back and so damned tired from uni, I HAVE TO keep the clothes, take in letters, open all the damned windows and bla bla bla. 

By the time the night sky arises, I would have to wash my own plate, wipe the table, take up my clothes, bring down rubbish and answer stupid questions. 

Sounds tiring ? 

Heck I haven't even added the amount of things I need to do. 

Like studies, assignments and my own leisure time. 

And you DARE say I don't do enough ? 

You dare say i am not responsible? 

Every single day I have to fucking  schedule my time so that I will be home when necessary. 

Think I'm so free to just come home and wait around and do house chores? 

I want to fucking be able to go for volleyball and do whatever I want. 

So much for a nourishing uni experience. 

As if last year's experience wasn't hindered enough. 

I am darn pist off because my efforts are not appreciated. 

You NEVER fail to ask me to reflect on myself. 

Maybe you should try reflecting on yourself.

On how unappreciative you are towards all the things that I have done. 

The time in which i suggested to come up with a schedule on house chores, you didn't wanna take that suggestion.

Only recently, like two days ago, you finally realized what a good idea it was. 

But guess what.

I HAVE TO COME UP WITH THE SCHEDULE. 

Dafuq, am I the one parenting now? 

To heck with that. 

I don't have so much time to invest in stupid things. 

Just like in the business world, if the ROI is low, cut cost until the business is aborted. 

I've played my cards & now I just don't want to play 'em anymore. 

Don't say I didn't try because I did. 

And fyi, I have my own boiling point. 

So it would be redundant to ask me why I snapped. 

You can tell me that you're tired when you come back from work and expect me to help you but when I am tired, what do I get ? 

Nothing less of a LECTURE. 

The exact words - " If you come back tired, next time don't come back so late."

And it was only 12midnight. 

Ridiculous much ? -_-

Seriously, just don't expect anything from me anymore. 

If that's all I'm gonna get, I might as well just do nothing. 

Happier that way. 

You  mind your business, I mind my own. 

It's not like I have ever had any support from you anyways. 

And stop blaming me for almost anything you can put a finger on.
Take your own advise and check yourself.

P/S : And if you're wondering why I've been losing so much weight, it's stress from all directions & the lack of destressors. I've been eating don't worry. I love food too much to ever give it up. 

Whereabouts

You know that feeling when you have no idea about where your loved one is?

Be it your sister, brother, parents, boyfriend, girlfriend or wtv.

Yes that feeling. 

That "Omg where is he/she?" feeling. 

That  heart attack-ish feeling. 

I fucking hate it. 

It's not that I have nothing better to do than to stalk everyone about their whereabouts. 

It is all SOLELY because I CARE. 

I CARE ABOUT YOUR SAFETY.

Because I don't wanna hear anything about anyone missing. 

Nor do I want to ever receive any damn phone calls about someone getting into an accident or wtv.

Get it?

These days it is so damn unsafe to be out no matter what gender you are. 

I get worried because I care. 

And yeah, I care too much. 

Trust me, I am trying to stop caring so much about every single damn thing. 

Because no one probably cares as much as me. 

Enough said. 

So save me from these worries and give me a piece of mind. 

A peaceful mind knowing that all my loved ones are safe is the best gift I could ever ask for. 

Having a very bad headache now that even sleeping would be a problem.

Uncalled For

Hi, I'm Vania & here are some things that everyone should know about me.

I stand up for what I believe and I fight for my rights.

I don't give no two shits about what strangers think of me.

And I don't care if you're older than me or anything, as long as you don't practice what you preach, don't expect me to listen. 

And if I don't like you, I'll be very open about it. 

So open that I'll make it obvious to you.

And if I'm nice to you in front of a group, I'm not being two faced, I'm simply putting it aside so we all can have fun instead of causing some kind of drama. 

But if and only if, you try to provoke me, I'll make sure you don't have a face in public anymore.

I give you my word.

What really brought me to blog right now is the attitudes of us human beings.

That being said, everyone is selfish in one way or another.

I for one is selfish when it comes to Andrew. 

And haha, that will NEVER change ;)

But others in the world, they're selfish in a sense that all they care about is themselves.

They don't give no two shits about anyone else. 

I really despise those kind of people.

The kind of people who will only find you when they need something.

I call them "Users" because they don't know how to differentiate human beings and things. 

And I'm not blowing my own horn or whatever but I have always been there 24/7 for everyone, just in case they needed someone to talk to. 

My poor phones never sleep. 

Just because I care too much. 

Too bad there ain't many selfless people in the world. 

Glad to be one of them really. 

I mean it when I say that I'm always here. 

Those three words bring about a very huge responsibility. 

So don't go around misusing them aight.

By saying that, you're telling someone that you will be there always no matter what happens. 

Being there for someone is an act of putting all your own worries aside just to listen & help out.

It doesn't mean that when you have problems, you just disappear. 

That's very irresponsible.

So think twice before saying that to someone else. 

While we're on this topic of selfishness, I recently just experienced some fucked up situation involving my parents. 

Like I said earlier, I don't care if you're older than me, as long as you make me lose respect for you, you're gone.

Some of you may find this very disrespectful and what not but I have been forced to do nothing but defend myself since young.

If you wanna go ahead and be judgemental, great! 

Cause I don't give a damn anyways. 

So back to the experience.

My babyboy, Andrew, wanted to surprise me by letting me know that I'll be going on the Cherating trip with him and his family.

BUT, the plan didn't work out 'cause my dear MUM, said NO.

I don't know if she's been blind or deaf all this while.

I've been saying I wanna go on a holiday.

And since we're not going anywhere this year, what the hell is so wrong about going holiday with my dear boyfriend and his family ?!

I know why she said no.

She probably wants me to help out with the house situation since the maid's going home after my exams.

But like HELLO? 

17 & 18th December's are both WEEKENDS!

Which means both parents will be around! 

WHY THE HELL DO I NEED TO BE AROUND!

AND IT'S MY BIRTHDAY SURPRISE FOR GOODNESS SAKE. 

What a fucking mean ass.

You want me to help you ?

Seriously, I HAVE BEEN HELPING YOU SINCE FOREVER! 

Do you know how many times both my parents went overseas and just left us kids behind in the house & I have to take charge?

And I have to take care of everything?

DON'T I DESERVE A GETAWAY TOO? 

OMG, selfish pricks.

I don't care man. 

I'm going to confront her tonight. 

Time for me to be selfish. 

And you know what ? Each time I go out & come back slightly late like about 12.15/12.30, they fucking make noise as if I've been out doing drugs.

Wthell man. 

Always asking me not to compare with others, then why the hell you wanna go compare?

And please lah, it's not like I go out and don't come back. 

If you don't wanna wait up then give me the fucking key man.

Seriously, I'm gonna be 20 next year, not 10! 

Ugh.

Really, so damn selfish it just gets on my nerves. 

And it's only three days. 

Sat, Sun and Monday.

And parents these days are so damn demanding & unreasonable.

They want us kids to do our best & bring back A's yet they place unnecessary stressors in our lives.

"Don't need to worry about money, just study"

That phrase is bullshit. 

Because every single time I have to either ikat perut or don't buy the things I need to buy. 

My Touch N Go no more cash in it. 

When I ask my parents, they ask me go top up myself. 

Fucking shit, I barely have enough to save & you want me to top up for msyelf?

And when I wanna claim for stuff I bought for the house, you fucking tell me it's for the house, you using it also wert. 

Don't fucking lecture me on saving & going out less cause the reason why I don't have much to save it's cause I have to freakin' pay for most of the stuff myself. 

Ugh, so sick of this man. 

Trust me, I will find a part time job when I have the time to go search for one.

So that i can get my own friggin' cash to spend.

After all, I have to friggin' take care of myself right? It already feels like I'm living alone anyways.

Not like you give a damn whether I have enough cash to go eat and whatnots.

Parents shouldn't belittle the amount of stress that we young adults go through. 

Working life is stressful I know but it doesn't make our stress any less. 

We are transitioning to another phase in life which requires adaptation. 

Now that is stressful as well okay. 

If you don't believe me, read up on Stress & Health in my Psychology book man. 

That's all I have to blog about now. 

Just needed to get it out again.

If only my head can light up like a freakin Ghost Rider when I'm pissed, I bet I'd have my way with everything.

Rights, I'd better get my ass back to studying.

Ciaoz yo!

Touchdown!

Soo, it's been an hour already & he should be there. 

But I didn't get no text no nothing to indicate that he's already arrived safely.

Well, hope all is well :)

That boy gave me the wrong info! 

Which made me wake up at 5am in the morning to call him to hear his voice for the last time this week.

Only then did I find out that his flight as at 9 -_-

Could have slept more! 

Gahh, fell right back asleep after that phonecall tho. Lol. 

Woke up another round at about 8.30ish? 

Called him right before he went into the boarding area. 

And haha, I couldn't go back to sleep anymore cause I heard someone knocking on someone else's door really loudly.

Went to peep and found out that the lady staying opposite me was knocking on her neighbor's door.

Why? Because the neighbor was sorta blocking her from going out or smth.

Went back to my bed but I couldn't go back to sleep anymore so I got up.

Chloe wants food anyway, so good timing LOL. 

Before I left my room, I decided to take a peek again. 

And OMG guess what ?

That damn person parked his car right outside my house! 

I'm like whaddafark. 

This ain't your house, you don't just randomly park in front of a person's house!

Plus, I needed to drive in and let the maid wash the car.

So I told myself that if that car was still there when I finish cleaning up, I'd knock on his door.

Throughout the entire time I was cleaning up, I was imagining different scenarios of which might happen when I confront that guy. 

I even thought to myself that if I was't a nice person, I'd probably damage his car LOL.

But all of it went down the drain because when I came out, the car was gone LOL. 

Either he heard me or his conscience came back. 

Or maybe he just went out LOLOLOL. 

Either way, I really hate it when strangers move the rubbish bin to park outside my house. 

Seriously, it is not your house, not your ground. 

So if you wanna park, pay up.

Or get your car's ass somewhere else. 

There's plenty of parking around. 

Just need to open your eyes yo.

And if you find that parking's a problem, don't drive. WALK.

Pfft. Neways, I should go study now. 

Ciao!

Distinguished Lines

Dressing up, something everyone does before they go out. 

Be it, formal, casual, smart casual or semi casual, everyone dresses up. 

Girls do it most of the time and yes we do take hours to dress up. 

Not all the time tho xD

After finding the perfect outfit, the only thing left is to freshen up with some light make up and perfume. 

And just when you think everything's done, you turn around to see lines. Panty Lines. 

Panty lines are so NOT sexy. 

I HATE IT! 

It's so unattractive! Ugh!

All panties should be seamless. Bras as well. 

Seeing lines is sucha buzzkill man after you've actually found the perfect outfit. 

I honestly, personally think that bras and panties that aren't seamless should be banned. 

I mean like, no one wants to see how your panties or bra look like. 

I know I wouldn't want to. 

Zzzz. 

The next time I go shopping, everything's gonna be seamless! 

La Senza's on sale I heard. 

Heheheh xD

Up In Smokes

He was smoking.

Something I never knew he did.

I was shocked in seeing him smoke like a smoker who has smoked for a few years.

You can almost tell by the way he holds the cigarette stick.

I couldn't believe it so I went straight up to him and snatched the ciggie away.

Threw it to the ground but he got pist & asked some other girl for a cig. 

I was stunned.

Something I never knew all these while is now revealing itself one way or another. 

The best part was that he knew I hated smokers.

That was what I dreamt about this morning.

What a dream aye? 

Buttt, haha, it will always be just a dream because I know he will NEVER touch a cigarette.

Having these kind of dreams make me question the real meaning behind it tho. 

Like, is it trying to tell me something? 

Cause I'm pretty sure I wasn't thinking of cigarettes AT ALL! Lol.

Oh wells, I'll just leave it as a dream. 

No point in thinking too much about it. 

Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace.

So to those who worry about every single thing, try not to alright? :)

So my morning was a bit of a bummer, woke up to the alarm that I set but went back to sleep for a "few minutes" and ended up waking up at 7.10am :O

Was a bit late soo, haha, had to speed up.

And I'm back on the road driving again. 

I don't have much problems with driving itself but I do have problems with drivers and the roads.

Roads in Malaysia are horrible. 

Potholes here and there.

Yeah I know it's unavoidable to have potholes but come on, fix the damn thing man. 

It's freaking annoying having to avoid this and that when there are many cars. Pfft. 

I came across this website which is an organisation that is dedicated to fixing potholes.

It's a website where you can lodge a report on which area has potholes and stuff. 

If I'm not mistaken they also have a hotline where you can call and report straight.

Maybe Malaysia should have something like that you know. 

Every road shouldn't have potholes.

Have you ever driven on the road towards the King's palace? 

It's freaking nice. 

Properly tarred with nice OBVIOUS yellow lines and street lights.

Every road should be like that.

Some of the lines on the road can't even be seen. 

And this can really cause a lot of confusion. 

You can be travelling on the wrong side of the road and you wouldn't even know. 

If it's a road that you always take, then it's fine but how about those who are not familiar with the place? 

These are the little things that can be done to improve road experiences. 

Another thing I wanna bring up is the bumps. 

Some bumps are so freaking high and they're not painted! 

>=(

Drivers would have to brake like mad if they're not aware of the bump ahead. 

Heck, some even fly over bumps. 

DANGEROUS is the word here.

If it's hard to paint stripes on the bump, just paint the whole friggin thing in yellow!

It is advertised everywhere that drivers should drive safe yet the roads are like crap. 

Zzzz -________-

Nonetheless, the roads are not solely to be blamed for accidents and such. 

Drivers these days are also freaking idiotic. 

There is a reason why signals are made. DUH!

It's easy to use & it won't bite. 

If you wanna go left, switch on the signal that points to the left. Vice versa. 

Seriously, I have no idea why is it SO hard to just indicate where you want to go. 

If there ain't any cars then alright, it's understandable but if you want to cut, put your bloody signal will u ?

I get so annoyed every single time a person doesn't put the signal and just park it's ass in front of me. 

-_____________-

Just like this morning when I was on the way to uni. 

This car on my left wanted to cut because there wasn't any car in front of me. 

I noticed that she wanted to cut cause she was coming close but wtheck, I waited for her to go and she doesn't wanna go. 

And when I finally move, she wants to cut again -_-

Honked her in her face. 

Already tolerated her no-signal-intention to cut and that's all I'm gonna give. 

I don't care what car you drive, as long as you don't put your signal there's no way I'm gonna let you cut. 

Not even in your dreams. 

Pfft.

One last very important thing.

Backlights. 

Drivers out there please make sure your backlights are working aight. 

Cause there was one incident where I had to brake quite hard just because the van's backlights weren't working. 

Therefore I didn't know he was slowing down or wtv shit. 

Wanna avoid accidents or some surprise butt attack on your car's butt, please do your part. 

Saves the hassle of exchanging numbers, paying for this and that. 

I'll blog more later. 

Lunch  now. 

Ciao!

Blend In or Out?

I hate going to places alone. 

I hate being alone for too long. 

Being left alone with my mind can kill, seriously. 

Having said that, sometimes in a group, I tend to feel alone =/

Yeah weird right? I know. 

If you haven't experienced it, you wouldn't know what I'm talking about. 

But it's okay, you don't have to. I'm pretty sure no one wants to be there and feel that way :)

So good for those who don't know. 

To those who know, you are not alone :)

Maybe sometimes it's just the topic of discussion or maybe there's nothing at all to say. 

Don't blame it all on yourself. Sometimes it  may not even be you .

Being alone can sometimes be a privilege. 

Say you're mad  and the way to cool off is to be alone, then it's a good thing !

Imagine no alone time at all. 

Even during your poo time, someone is there :O 

Wouldn't be very nice now, would it? 

Point noted aye? LOL. 

I don't know how I hate going places alone but I really am trying to accept the fact that sometimes, I gotta go places alone cause not everyone is free all the time. 

And also because I don't have a pet! 

Time to get one aye? xD 

Me want a husky! :D :D

Can't wait to have one!

Then I'd bring it everywhere I go :D

So yeah, this fear of being alone is really a pain in the ass. 

But for it to be a phobia, it has to affect your daily life.

Haha it ain't no phobia to me since I can still live and go on with life. 

I guess for me it's just a matter of preference. 

I prefer having company. 

Like duh, of course I'd want my boyfriend/fiance/soulmate to be with me all the time like when I go out. 

BUT like I said earlier, everyone has their own shit to handle. 

Hence, I gotta try to enjoy hanging out with myself LOL. 

Sounds funny LOLOL. 

Right, I think I'm done. 

I have to go study for tomorrow's exam. 

Like seriously I have been so slacker that I don't even think that the exam is registered in my brain =/

Badd. That is so bad! 

Let's just hope I don't get distracted. 

Ciao!